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Oh My!!! What a blast we all had. 6 of us went.... I got to play on the FAO Schwartz piano - you know, the big floor piano that Tom Hanks played on in one of his movies.... I also got to play on Liberace's Piano!!! That was really neat. Got to play the last working piano he had and it was the one with lots and lots of mirrors and the glass piano stool, and my name is now recorded in the history of that piano. Lets see.... I danced up on the Coyote Ugly bar.... with my sister and Krystal. Went and saw a "drag show"... of course we had to do that while in Vegas! Krystal and I went to see the 250,000 dollar Game Show Spectacular and got a kiss blown to us by Jamie Farr (Guy who played Maxwell Klinger on MASH)... we had a blast even though we didn't get to go up and play a game show. Went to Fremont street and watched the big screen ceiling play music type videos and listened to an absolutely wonderful band while we were there. Went to Jimmy Buffets Margaritaville.... and had lunch. We walked all over the place and rode the double decker bus called the "Deuce". Had many margaritas and played BJ and the slots. Karen, Terry, Jon (Karen's friend) and Krystal rode the roller coaster... good thing I had some dramamine in my purse for Krystal!!! lol I didn't dare go on it... not with my fear of heights... with a 144 ft drop, g-force motion and 67 mph turns.... not for me!!! Lots more things I am sure we did... just can't think of them right now.... we were very, very busy being tourists and having many, many laughs. Now my poor blistered feet and rash covered hands (I think I'm allergic to something the put in their water or one of the hand soaps I used)... are trying to recover so that I can go back to work. Whew... I think I need a vacation after the vacation! P.S. You ought to see the shoes I got from the Liberace Museum! They are awesome! Very flashy. and sparkley.

Key Words: Vegas

Be sure to check out my profile... and see the new pics that I've uploaded of my birthday at the fair.  I have the pics of the kids doing all the rides they enjoy.  I added pics to the profile and a slideshow.

Thanks!   Kristie 

Missing From:100 Fairview Ave W, Meridian, IDMissing Date:7/24/2007 12:00 AM

Contact:Meridian Police Department
208-377-6790

Circumstances:Suspect
forced the victims vehicle to stop in the road and then forced all
occupants into his vehicle. Information is still being gathered on the
children. Suspect is known to carry a knife. Possibly headed to Los
Angeles, CA



SuspectName: Jaime Farfan-SotoHair Color: BrownEye Color: BrownSkin Color: HispanicAge: 23Height: 5'7"Weight: 150 lbs.Gender: MaleDescription: Hair pulled into a pony tail; wearing a black T-shirt
Vehicle InformationMake: FordModel: ExplorerColor: RedLicense State: IDLicense Text: 2CBK580Vehicle: Sport UtilityDescription: Possible other plates that the suspect could be using 3BSM405/CA

The Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits
down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that
he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there
are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural
human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to
certain death. However,
just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his
feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes
back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy
comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process.
The two men at the
window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the
procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how
on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air
vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right
yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to
jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just
HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a
mess hitting all over the ground. Meanwhile, the first guy has made it
back up to the bar. When he sits down
to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real
------- when you're drunk!"

The Young Assistant

In France, the young assistant priests do not live in the main rectory.
That is reserved for the priest and his housekeeper. One day the priest
invited his new young assistant priest to have dinner at the rectory.
While being served, the young priest noticed how shapely and lovely the
housekeeper was and down deep in his heart he wondered if there was
more between the priest and the housekeeper.

After the meal was over, the middle-aged priest assured the young
priest that everything was purely professional...that she was the
housekeeper and cook and that was that. About a week later the
housekeeper came to the priest and said, "Father, ever since the new
assistant came for dinner I have not been able to find the beautiful
silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it, do you?" The priest
said, "Well, I doubt it but I'll write him a letter."

So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Father, I'm not saying you did
take the gravy ladle and I'm not saying you did not take the gravy
ladle. But the fact remains that it has been missing since you were
here for dinner."

The young assistant received the letter and he answered it as
follows: "Dear Father priest, I'm not saying that you do sleep with the
housekeeper and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with the
housekeeper. But I do know for sure that if you slept in your own bed
you would find the gravy ladle."

What Not To Put On Your Application For Employment

NAME:  Greg Bulmash



DESIRED POSITION:  Reclining.  Ha ha.  But seriously, whatever's
available.   If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.



DESIRED SALARY:  $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package.  If that's not possible, make an offer and we
can haggle.



EDUCATION:  Yes.



LAST POSITION HELD:  Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY:  Less than I'm worth.



MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:

My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.



REASON FOR LEAVING:  It sucked.



HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:  Any.



PREFERRED HOURS:  1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.



DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: 

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.



MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:

If I had one, would I be here?



DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: 

Of what?



DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: 

I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"



HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.



DO YOU SMOKE?:  Only when set on fire.



WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?

Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.



DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:  No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.



SIGN HERE:  Scorpio with Libra rising.

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an
embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're
soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've
farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's
office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem
is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What
do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

A Cat's Diary

Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling
objects.  They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to
subsist on dry cereal.  The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from
occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture. 



I fear I may be going insane.  Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving
by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off
brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

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