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Viewing 2231 - 2235 out of 2422 Blogs.
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If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer
- If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and
start all over!
- To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
- If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".
- Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
- To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control
panel.
... Read More
More Thoughts On Aging
- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way
through Congress.
- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get
it started.
- You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling,
and you didn't do anything the night before.
- The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
[... Read More
You are a Nerd If...
- If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your
automobile tires
- If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal
- If you have more toys than your kids
- If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
- If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
-... Read More
The Titanic Test
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up
together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to
get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the
ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St.... Read More
Tight Shoes
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.
"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well, they feel a bit tight." replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the
mans feet.
"Try pulling out on the tongue." offers the clerk.
"Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.
... Read More
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