This Week's Rant: Subliminal Messaging

We all know that when someone wants to sell something and make money, he will pretty much do whatever it takes. If that car looks cheap, you can bet your ass they're hiding the real price from you. I recently saw an ad for a cellphone that cost just 99c. After geting right into the thick of things I noticed that that offer is only available with a two year service contract (the writing was veerrrrrrry tiny). A contract like that could charge you about $500 and up, so the REAL price of the phone is more or less $501. You've got to watch out for these little loopholes that those money-hungry S.O.B.s will put you through. Nothing will be given away for free, or next-to. Even if they're giving something away from a cash-draw or something, you will still have to fork over some dough.

Example: You just won a $50 gift card to the superstore of your choosing. The money-hungry jackholes say, "oh but we're gonna need a $12 service fee for taking the time to get it, and another $8 for your entry fee into this contest." So what was a $50 prize is now a $30 rip-off.

Watch out for the subliminal messages! Greedy corporate morons will drain your wallet to the bone!

In The News: Fashion Statement Unusual In France

A new fashion has appeared in France. It's rather odd. I looked at a picture, and all I saw was a french girl wearing a hat very similar to the tall puffy hats that British guards wear. You know, they stand outside places like Buckingham Palace and are trained to not change their expression, no matter how many times you pull down your pants and let a big one out (often known by these hooligans as Q-Tip soldiers).

Weekly Random Thought

Have you ever tried walking into a walk-in freezer, and licking a pole covered in frost in there? It's different from licking a pole on a frozen ski slope, innit?